05/11/2026

The Time is Now

 

There are times the walls close around me, yet I am outside.

There are no walls.

 

There are times I walk, heart and eyes rimmed with nameless tears.

I do not let them rain.

 

There are times I hear silence, a cacophony of unwanted thoughts.

I dare not speak them.

 

And there are times, in sleepless nights I fear unspoken truth.

That time is now.

04-10-2025

Underneath the Fig Tree

Maria T. Groschup-Black

    

They say, “this tree bears no fruit.”

Its sturdy trunk towers above the vineyard; its branches covered with vines as they wend their way across nature’s trellis, a symbiotic offering of the vintner’s clever calculations.

Sun caresses the branches while wind tickles its leaves, enchanting the earth with ripples of light woven in iridescent patterns across the shaded ground.

Orderly rows of ants traverse exposed roots, up and down the trunk, and along its branches, carrying savory dew drops, nectar, and seeds. Bees laden with pollen hum about, then return to their hive and wax sweet honey.

Laborers lounge in the shadow, seeking refuge from the searing midday heat; and it is here that a seeker is called down from the branches to find salvation.

They say, “this tree bears no fruit.”

Luke 13:1-9, Luke 19:1-10

 

Family Ties

Much has changed in the 3 years since my last post, yet so much is still the same. The house is still a disaster, close to condemnation with teenage sized holes in the wall; and we are still struggling to make ends meet while trying to give each child the attention he deserves and in many ways still craves. And I still pine away for that perfect “Cleaver” family unit that settles arguments with love and compassion rather than fist fights, shouting matches, and all out disrespect for one and all.

Most recently I realized just how much I’d allowed my love for family unity dissolve. I was content to contact my own siblings only on birthdays and holidays, while at the same time expecting them to know and understand the full extent of the chaos that is my life. A series of events led me to resent my oldest brother for living his life as he wants and should. I became angry that he was somehow unaware that I’d lost all control and was on the verge of collapse. Why had the family grapevine not reached him?

I lashed out, only to be met with his own litany of stress - including care for our aging father. It was a good airing of issues. We rediscovered our need to build relationships beyond birthdays and holidays. Our busy lifestyles prevent us from the old weekly dinners, but with care and planning we can schedule more frequent visits than just the few celebrations that require divided attentions.

Back from the Dark Side

  The subject of blogs and writing were discussed during a recent meeting. This of course caused me to mention this old thing, which led to the real possibility that others in that meeting might wish to read my blog and note that I've been rather silent over the past couple years.

Several writings ago I mentioned having been "Mommy Blocked" and left too exhausted to write some of the simplest of musings. Well, for those who care to know... the kids are all grown  now and two have moved on to lives of their own. The third still requires a bit of mothering and nurture. He might be with us for some time.  I recently asked him if "we were to move across country, was he coming with us?" His immediate response was "when?"

I now have 3 grands, a daughter-in-law, and son-in-law. The oldest is in the military for now, and the youngest has married a soldier. I acquired partnership in a small publishing company nearly 5 years ago, and have been running ever since. Once in a while I do find the muse and commit a short to the page, but not often.

I have a couple I am proud of and will post them shortly.